I Wanted To Be Like Her
by iluvmusicsomuch
Summary: I could see her. Her blonde braid down her back. Her duck's tail. Prim. Her lips are just forming my name. And that's when the rest of the parachutes go off. Prim only wanted to be like her sister, brave, and cunning. This is her thoughts when she dies.


Katniss. My sister. Who loves me, and I love. Who's out there fighting a war, which I almost feel is going to tear us both to pieces. It's awful, being here, where people shoot each other, and stab each other over a piece of bread. I watch it, from the sidelines, where all the medics are lined up, waiting for action. Waiting for a signal something.

It's disgusting, what the Capitol does. All those children, lined up inside the barricade. I almost burst into tears at the thought, and barely hide it. I'm the youngest one here, although I know, I'm quite advanced. But no one argued much for me to come here, President Coin allowed it easily. She said we needed more medics. For the rebels. But now, I'm only focused on those children. I close my eyes, and try to wipe away my tears. Please let it be over. I don't care if we win or lose, I can't stand it.

I wanted to be like Katniss. Always forever. She was so strong, so brave, everyone listened to her. Everyone still listens to her. Gale too, but not in the same way I admire Katniss. She's my sister. And she's done everything, that's far beyond my power. I miss her. I want her to come back. I want to shout her name, leave out a greeting. Anything.

But now, I realize I can be like her. I don't have to fight a war, I don't have to talk to my country over TV. I don't have to do anything. I am who I am. I don't want to be destruction, I want to be rebirth. My toes are itching, for the moment I climb onto the battlefield, not as a soldier, but as a healer, for what I am.

I close my eyes, and let out a breath, so softly, no one can see anything, hear anything. It's all blind, smoke, dust, fire. I cough, and my eyes well up with tears. The Capitol. That was so beautiful. Everything. I then begin to let tears run down my cheeks. No one will see them. My braid is still very neat, hanging like a tree stalk. It seems to me, that while everything is so… awful, we still find the gall to look good. Oh please let it be over.

The barricade is holding those children in place. I stuff my hands in my pocket. Why aren't they letting us go? Don't they know that those children need help? I want to grab ahold of the boy who leads us, shake him, ask him if he owns a heart. He doesn't. They're all heartless. Just waiting for command. Please let us go, we want to go. I want to go.

My legs are trembling beneath my skirt. My jacket is very lose. Icy cold sweat pours down my face, completely molded in with tears. I close my eyes, and let the tears run some more. Just for a little while. Only a little bit.

Suddenly, I gasp. A hovercraft. Like the ones in the Hunger Games. The Capitol. I shiver, and shudder. What are they doing? Suddenly, parachutes drop, with silver baskets. I sigh, that's what they are sending to their kids.

"Get ready!" shouts the boy, moving up and down the lines.

I don't flinch. What's wrong? I squint. Does he know something I don't. I move backwards, not daring to trip, I then feel his cold hand on my back. I jump around.

"Get ready Soldier Everdeen" he tells me, quite annoyed.

I nod, and turn around, and I get ready. I have my medical kit. I'm ready to help anyone. The kids search for the parachutes, seeking them happily. Please, please. I pray for a second, feeling tears in my eyes, yet joy in my heart, of being able to be here, and help. Not joy, that's too much a word. Excitement is the right.

Katniss's little duck isn't here anymore. I don't know what has replaced me. I don't know. I feel like… I was a child, and now, I'm a woman. It's just a transition. I've been through so much, it's hard to ignore this fact. I've seen Katniss in the Hunger Games twice, in war, getting shot. It's not any fun anymore. Now, it's my turn. If Katniss knew, she'd be worried too. My heart is thumping. What's wrong, why are we ready?

Suddenly, in horror, I back up. No! I'm about to shout, but it's too late. The parachutes blow up, or at elast some of them. I scream, almost in tears. Help!

"Go!" shouts the boy, pushing us forward.

I'm running at top speed. No! What are they doing? Are they nuts? I look up at the hovercraft, and a dreadful thought fills me. Is that ours? No! I refuse to believe it! No! I'm running, and panting, but not bothering to stop. The other medics are almost there. I hop over anything that comes in my way, desperate.

Katniss! I turn around, seeking for those grey eyes, but I can't find them. Is she okay? Mom! I don't know anymore.

"Run Soldier Everdeen" shouts the boy back there.

I then gather myself, and keep on running. The medics are flocking tending to wounded children. I see them, crying, suffering. I close my eyes. This is war. This is what the Capitol brought on us. I want to make them pay, I want them to see all the damage they've done to us. I want to cry, to sob, anything. My eye catches a child on the floor, bleeding, wailing.

I choke back a sob, and I kneel down by him, trying to keep a steady glance. I look around. I reach into the pocket of my coat, and realize that it fell. I look backwards. Where did it go. Suddenly, I see it. A few yards away. I look at the child. I then rip off my coat, and cover him with it.

"Wait here, you'll be fine" I whisper to him.

I begin to get up, but suddenly, I see her. Katniss. Her olive skin, dark hair, grey eyes. At first, I refuse to believe it, but not. She's alive! But suddenly, I feel something's wrong, she's running towards me. I get up, straighten up. What's she doing? She needs to go back. I see Gale behind her, him too. They're both alive. But I don't have time to be happy. My lips form her name. I'm ready to shout it out, to embrace her. But then, I feel heat behind me.

"Katniss!" I shout" moving forward, but it's too late, the explosions keep me in check, and blurs out my words.

"Prim!"


End file.
